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Burnout that looked like success

Ray 44yo, Construction company owner

Stress & BurnoutRelationshipsPurpose

Business owner · Four years

The business was fine. I was the thing that was broken, and I had built a life where nobody could tell me that.

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These stories represent individual experiences and are not medical advice. Experiences with psychedelic substances vary significantly and may involve medical, psychological and legal risks.

Burnout that looked like success

176 words

Life before I started

Eleven years running a company that grew faster than I did. Ninety-hour weeks framed as commitment.

What I was experiencing

Exhaustion, cynicism, no appetite for anything I used to like, and a physical sense of being scraped out.

What I'd tried before

Holidays, delegation, a productivity system, and a brief and unsuccessful attempt at a sabbatical.

What I explored

Therapy, strength training, a hard boundary on my calendar, and a five-day silent retreat.

What happened

The retreat was the first time in a decade I was alone with my own thinking for more than an hour. It was awful for two days and then it was not.

What surprised me most

That my identity was almost entirely load-bearing on the company.

What didn't help

Holidays. Every time, I came back and burned out again within a month.

What I'm still working through

Delegating anything client-facing. Working on it.

What I learned about myself

That burnout is not fixed by rest. It is fixed by changing what you go back to.

Where I am now

Still running the business, at about sixty percent of the hours, with a leadership team that exists now.

What I'd tell someone starting out

If rest fixes it, it was tiredness. If rest does not fix it, the structure is the problem.

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